I sat looking at that microwave while I smoked a joint. It was the last thing I "won" in the break-up, giving up the coat rack I picked out for our place in Seattle, I got the microwave. A very wise choice given my cooking skills, and so now, I just look at the microwave in this now empty kitchen where I started everything all over again, wondering should I leave it or put it on the steps for someone to pick-up or just dump it in the dumpster.
A silly thing, really, when I thought about it and wondered out loud in the empty space, "Why am I thinking about this so much?"
Knowing me as I am, I sat down on the only available seat, took a breath and took the time to think about it. Why AM I thinking about this so much?
Go back to the beginning. I remember the day we bought it. Even that day, I knew this day would come eventually. I suppose I wasn't ready to give up the experience I needed to learn that I knew then the truth I was sitting in atop this old wooden stoop stool in my now empty, cold and getting colder apartment as the Winter Sun flattened its light more with every passing minute. The need and desire for circuitous communication to control a relationship is a playful enough habit, but deadly for a marriage. And then I think about the circuitous thoughts in my mind with what to do with The Microwave. STOP!
"When in doubt, just leave things as is," was always the conservative approach of my father, so, I decided to leave the microwave in its place. "Its as if I forgot it wasn't part of the kitchen," I thought as I picked up my phone, put on my sunglasses, grabbed my travel bags and walked out the door from what had been my home after the divorce.
... to be continued
