because i have a boyfriend that i had been having sex with everyday -- at least once -- for seven weeks, except 2 days, and then there was Thanksgiving Dinner with his daughter and her man.
#Thanksgiving.
should be so simple unless you just want to make every thing that you #MustHave on #Thanksgiving because that's just what we do, not what we really, truly want or actually care about.
#Gorging. That's what was happening, and what planet earth reality came to say #FuqThat, THAT reality is #Unsustainable if you want to continue living.
My new boyfriend, or at least trying to be my new "Man" (yet in his head its more like "MAN" I am most certain), as such could be a challenge if you live the reality i am living as my daughter chooses to attend a fuqing public high school with her friends from junior high - - don't ask, long story -- had a seizure right as we were finishing dinner.
He's still recovering today -- wow what a journey of WOW bam WOW bam WOW -- yet, still, nothing as bad as jail, so i smile and keep on stepping as fast as possible to teh drum i'm hearing that's going to bring this #fuqafukushima reality to a happy ending as we step forward to ? ? ?
tomorrow is a new day. i am enjoying having a boyfriend =)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
the thunder and lightening
always make me think of you.
it doesn't matter where i am, i think of you.
maybe one day i will not, then i will have found love.
you are not love. you are still just an idea of love i write to on the internet.
i know there is true love, i know now better what is and is not true love having experienced a little bit of this life on earth, i think i know what i think is "true love" more today than i did when i married the first time, that is for certain.
so, good night, perfect cosmic lover of the internet ... fuq you.
it doesn't matter where i am, i think of you.
maybe one day i will not, then i will have found love.
you are not love. you are still just an idea of love i write to on the internet.
i know there is true love, i know now better what is and is not true love having experienced a little bit of this life on earth, i think i know what i think is "true love" more today than i did when i married the first time, that is for certain.
so, good night, perfect cosmic lover of the internet ... fuq you.
the gas man
reality.
my gas is turned off. oh, sure, not through any deliberate effort, my former husband failed to pay that bill for the past three months and so, now, this morning, supposedly between 7 and 8, comes the gas man -- or person as the case may be maybe -- yet, an hour and a half later, i'm blogging because ...
technically, the former husband should not have this control over my life.
reality,
i can leave the house unlocked and go ahead and go to work right now.
reality,
daughter said life is ok to live like this if i need to -- she really wants braces.
reality,
it will be fun to learn again =) high school picking friends and thinking about what we want to do for the rest of our time here -- the rest of this high school ride in the desert. high school was never really stressful to me, i spent most of my time working so i didn't have to stay in that environment for very long each day. this year is sophomore year and oh, boy, are we having fun? i think so, mostly, except for that deep loneliness i know is not being even slightly touched at this point, its still nice to have fun in the world of privilege in which we actually presently live.
reality,
my questions is: why am I (as in me being the one) waiting on the gas man? I can just leave the door open and the note for him at the front . . . . hmmmmmmmmm, decisions to make. maybe time for an #om while i think and rest and wait and decide or just be in undecision and see what happens next.
my gas is turned off. oh, sure, not through any deliberate effort, my former husband failed to pay that bill for the past three months and so, now, this morning, supposedly between 7 and 8, comes the gas man -- or person as the case may be maybe -- yet, an hour and a half later, i'm blogging because ...
technically, the former husband should not have this control over my life.
reality,
i can leave the house unlocked and go ahead and go to work right now.
reality,
daughter said life is ok to live like this if i need to -- she really wants braces.
reality,
it will be fun to learn again =) high school picking friends and thinking about what we want to do for the rest of our time here -- the rest of this high school ride in the desert. high school was never really stressful to me, i spent most of my time working so i didn't have to stay in that environment for very long each day. this year is sophomore year and oh, boy, are we having fun? i think so, mostly, except for that deep loneliness i know is not being even slightly touched at this point, its still nice to have fun in the world of privilege in which we actually presently live.
reality,
my questions is: why am I (as in me being the one) waiting on the gas man? I can just leave the door open and the note for him at the front . . . . hmmmmmmmmm, decisions to make. maybe time for an #om while i think and rest and wait and decide or just be in undecision and see what happens next.
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