Thoughts are just that -- thoughts. Things we don't really know exactly what they are or how they are actually formed, except that often they are based on experience, reality and imagination, are always present.
Most "thoughts" stay silently tucked away inside each of our brains for our own use, examination, experience and then -- the internet appeared and now we can just *POOF* write our thoughts and send them out of our brains. I don't find emptying my brain of its thoughts ever works, though, even if i type or record every single one of them, there are always more of them waiting to be seen, heard, recognized or even, if so lucky, expressed and shared.
People often like to define us by the thoughts we've chosen to express (or not express in certain situations), and well, if they need to do that, they may and you should know that people do do that -- define you by what they THINK you said when you expressed THAT thought there.
Earth. A prison system right now.
Showing posts with label 64. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 64. Show all posts
Monday, December 14, 2015
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
FUQEDITORS
because i have a boyfriend that i had been having sex with everyday -- at least once -- for seven weeks, except 2 days, and then there was Thanksgiving Dinner with his daughter and her man.
#Thanksgiving.
should be so simple unless you just want to make every thing that you #MustHave on #Thanksgiving because that's just what we do, not what we really, truly want or actually care about.
#Gorging. That's what was happening, and what planet earth reality came to say #FuqThat, THAT reality is #Unsustainable if you want to continue living.
My new boyfriend, or at least trying to be my new "Man" (yet in his head its more like "MAN" I am most certain), as such could be a challenge if you live the reality i am living as my daughter chooses to attend a fuqing public high school with her friends from junior high - - don't ask, long story -- had a seizure right as we were finishing dinner.
He's still recovering today -- wow what a journey of WOW bam WOW bam WOW -- yet, still, nothing as bad as jail, so i smile and keep on stepping as fast as possible to teh drum i'm hearing that's going to bring this #fuqafukushima reality to a happy ending as we step forward to ? ? ?
tomorrow is a new day. i am enjoying having a boyfriend =)
#Thanksgiving.
should be so simple unless you just want to make every thing that you #MustHave on #Thanksgiving because that's just what we do, not what we really, truly want or actually care about.
#Gorging. That's what was happening, and what planet earth reality came to say #FuqThat, THAT reality is #Unsustainable if you want to continue living.
My new boyfriend, or at least trying to be my new "Man" (yet in his head its more like "MAN" I am most certain), as such could be a challenge if you live the reality i am living as my daughter chooses to attend a fuqing public high school with her friends from junior high - - don't ask, long story -- had a seizure right as we were finishing dinner.
He's still recovering today -- wow what a journey of WOW bam WOW bam WOW -- yet, still, nothing as bad as jail, so i smile and keep on stepping as fast as possible to teh drum i'm hearing that's going to bring this #fuqafukushima reality to a happy ending as we step forward to ? ? ?
tomorrow is a new day. i am enjoying having a boyfriend =)
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
to know what you think you know
to know what you think you know, sometimes -- SOMETIMES -- is good enough to get you through the darkest times of your life. sometimes to think you know anything at all is a guess, yet, when you play that guess out in the game life has found you in for the moment, the truth is revealed. the sacrifice of Paster Pope for his own redemption was found in his words, "I am so sorry I hurt you." (i kinda snickered at him under my breath, because #tbt i already KNEW that! yet, he was a kind man to take his very small steps in his journey that is quite profound and a beautiful story.)
what he did to adjust our relationship is forever from this time in his hands, he knows it. that's the program playing in his head, and i know that so i know how much that is untrue because the truth is, the "rest is still unwritten" right -- although some of it has been written in the past and is just now manifesting in some ways, life is precarious in the unique ways we build our lives with love and definitions of our programs for our lives to become the ones we want to live each and every day we choose to take breath and continue breathing.
i do know this -- i know my steps with him are as secure as ever -- just as his steps are safe with me and are as secure as ever. we stand in a solidarity for our community that allows us to come to the table to talk -- every time we need to do it. that much we do in solidarity.
what he did to adjust our relationship is forever from this time in his hands, he knows it. that's the program playing in his head, and i know that so i know how much that is untrue because the truth is, the "rest is still unwritten" right -- although some of it has been written in the past and is just now manifesting in some ways, life is precarious in the unique ways we build our lives with love and definitions of our programs for our lives to become the ones we want to live each and every day we choose to take breath and continue breathing.
i do know this -- i know my steps with him are as secure as ever -- just as his steps are safe with me and are as secure as ever. we stand in a solidarity for our community that allows us to come to the table to talk -- every time we need to do it. that much we do in solidarity.
Friday, October 16, 2015
writing now as
a labyrinth of time
plays rather true
finding a knot
it never knew.
quickly undone
unravelling great fun
love got sooo lost
in its mirroring
just one
vibe.
plays rather true
finding a knot
it never knew.
quickly undone
unravelling great fun
love got sooo lost
in its mirroring
just one
vibe.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
the gas man
reality.
my gas is turned off. oh, sure, not through any deliberate effort, my former husband failed to pay that bill for the past three months and so, now, this morning, supposedly between 7 and 8, comes the gas man -- or person as the case may be maybe -- yet, an hour and a half later, i'm blogging because ...
technically, the former husband should not have this control over my life.
reality,
i can leave the house unlocked and go ahead and go to work right now.
reality,
daughter said life is ok to live like this if i need to -- she really wants braces.
reality,
it will be fun to learn again =) high school picking friends and thinking about what we want to do for the rest of our time here -- the rest of this high school ride in the desert. high school was never really stressful to me, i spent most of my time working so i didn't have to stay in that environment for very long each day. this year is sophomore year and oh, boy, are we having fun? i think so, mostly, except for that deep loneliness i know is not being even slightly touched at this point, its still nice to have fun in the world of privilege in which we actually presently live.
reality,
my questions is: why am I (as in me being the one) waiting on the gas man? I can just leave the door open and the note for him at the front . . . . hmmmmmmmmm, decisions to make. maybe time for an #om while i think and rest and wait and decide or just be in undecision and see what happens next.
my gas is turned off. oh, sure, not through any deliberate effort, my former husband failed to pay that bill for the past three months and so, now, this morning, supposedly between 7 and 8, comes the gas man -- or person as the case may be maybe -- yet, an hour and a half later, i'm blogging because ...
technically, the former husband should not have this control over my life.
reality,
i can leave the house unlocked and go ahead and go to work right now.
reality,
daughter said life is ok to live like this if i need to -- she really wants braces.
reality,
it will be fun to learn again =) high school picking friends and thinking about what we want to do for the rest of our time here -- the rest of this high school ride in the desert. high school was never really stressful to me, i spent most of my time working so i didn't have to stay in that environment for very long each day. this year is sophomore year and oh, boy, are we having fun? i think so, mostly, except for that deep loneliness i know is not being even slightly touched at this point, its still nice to have fun in the world of privilege in which we actually presently live.
reality,
my questions is: why am I (as in me being the one) waiting on the gas man? I can just leave the door open and the note for him at the front . . . . hmmmmmmmmm, decisions to make. maybe time for an #om while i think and rest and wait and decide or just be in undecision and see what happens next.
questionable self
its just a quick little note
sometimes its just here and there
things to know when to know things
are mostly left for others to care.
should i bring help or go it
alone, is it just silly or
real life getting in
the way of
love so
true
?
sometimes its just here and there
things to know when to know things
are mostly left for others to care.
should i bring help or go it
alone, is it just silly or
real life getting in
the way of
love so
true
?
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
moon over window
It was a sunny day that i discovered the clue that unraveled it all. It was really just a simple email, a routine, housekeeping kind, the kind that makes sure that this hand knows what that hand is doing kind of email. Yet when the visual pop-up came up when I copied in the hyperlink, I just wondered out loud, "What would a movie and television production company have to do with a peace and justice website?"
I guess I'll just wait and see if anyone heard me and if anyone has an answer to that question.
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