Some Tasks I Give Myself

It is my intention that I will, before I die, find a man who I love, who will want to do this with me. I really don't want to do it alone and I want to have fun doing it. If I don't do it with someone before my daughter graduates, I'll find a class I'd want to take with someone like my #mycybercrush at that time.

Don't I Wonder

Don't I wonder what he thinks? Doesn't everyone think about what their lover thinks about? I think about what my "love" that kind of #TrueLove that marriage is all about thinks about all the time and I really hope those who love me want to know those thoughts in me I never share.

Yes, I wonder what he thinks about as he detaches from me once again. Somewhere, on planet earth, I do know this, there is a man who is my greater earth love than #myNeWBoYfriend, that person, who I will meet will happen after her graduation from high school when I'm freed again.

To find a man better than #mwby will require a quest I begin today, the day I realize the absolute futility of my cybercrush, as he's most surely gay and I do love my gay husbands, yet I do need to find my real #MyCybeRcRusH love I could marry if that was such a thing to actually do again.

the thunder and lightening

always make me think of you.

it doesn't matter where i am, i think of you.

maybe one day i will not, then i will have found love.

you are not love.  you are still just an idea of love i write to on the internet. 

i know there is true love, i know now better what is and is not true love having experienced a little bit of this life on earth, i think i know what i think is "true love" more today than i did when i married the first time, that is for certain.

so, good night, perfect cosmic lover of the internet ... fuq you.